MST's of My Own Fics
by Can Of Beans
Summary: DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!, Chibigundams,Music, and Yeow!!!!. I've also MSTd the first non-Mine fic, Unexpected Solitude by Tsunami-Chan.
1. DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!

Disclaimer-I have lawyers and big, hairy friends, so there would be no point in suing me

In this volley of MST's, I'll only rip on my own fics and maybe some of the people I know on this site.

This disclaimer stands for all of the chapters.The riffers will be called Beans, Kork, and Ich.

Disclaimer-I have lawyers and big, hairy friends,

Beans-Really now?I thought you hated Yaoi.

so there would be no point in suing me.This is a character-bashing fic in which I kill off many characters because it's fun.

Kork-Oh great.Not only does he have hairy friends, but he's homicidal, too. Just dandy.

DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!

Relena was walking along the beach near her 4-story mansion.

Ich-Since when does Relena live near a beach?Or anywhere for that matter?I've only seen like 2 houses in the entire series!

She was contemplating her relationship with Heero, wondering whether he would ever make any advances.

Kork-Great…I don't feel like sitting through a lemon.

As she reached a rocky outcrop, she sat on the rocks, watching the

Beans-Chippendale's dudes she hired!

Kork-World turn!

Ich-The ocean drench her skirt!

sunset.Since Relena is a complete idiot, she stared straight at the sun.After a few minutes, she went 

Beans-AWOL!

Kork-To change from the wet clothes into a dry martini!

Ich-To her island in the sun!

blind.Since she couldn't see and was on rocks, she started screaming.

"HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kork-TRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Beans-EXCELSIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ich-SSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEZZEEE CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Eventually, Heero actually showed up (in Zero) and shot the crap out of her, like he should've done a long time ago.After a few hours, Wufei was practicing with his

Kork-Another potential hentai scene!!!

katana and his mouth:

Beans-What was he thinking when he wrote that?!

BAKA! :WHOOSH!: ONNA! :WHIF!: WEAKLI-:SOUND OF KNIFE STRIKING CASABA MELON A LA PSYCHO:Ow…my neck…ugh…

And with that, Wufei fell to the floor, dead, thank God (or Kami-Sama, whichever you want).Another few hours later, Treize (I don't care if he's already dead, I hate him, so I'm killing him again!) was sitting in his room thingy

Ich-Room thingy?Are there some other types of rooms I should know about?

and waiting for Une to come in and give him his daily bubble bath.

Kork-ANOTHER POTENTIAL-

Ich-Don't say it, third time's a charm!

Suddenly, she ran in, grabbed him, and forced his head under the water until he drowned.

"My psychiatrist said this would be the only way to have single personalities.

Beans-What about the fact that you're INSANE!?

Suddenly, a piece of plaster fell on Une's head and killed her, since it had an oven attached to it.As this happened, Quatre was in his room at the Winner Mansion, reading through a magazine.

Ich-Uh oh…Playboy?Or Girl maybe?

Beans-(a la old Warner Bros)I just looooooove that man!

He was reading an article about forced spontaneous combustions.He was laughing at the article.

"This is total bull!There is no way to force anyone to explode without a bomb or something."

Kork-Or something…indeed…

Since Quatre was a curious boy,

Kork-Oh crap!Yaoi warning!

he followed the instructions on how to do it that were stupidly printed in the article.

Beans-Duh, First, you do this thing with your, uh, head, and then you, uh, do something else…uh…

Suddenly, he exploded (of course)

Ich-Oh my God!He exploded!I didn't see THAT one coming!

and his room was splattered with blood.Later, Dorothy was in her cave watching a Ripley's Believe It or Not!On it was a guy with a foot wide handlebar mustache.

"Ha!I can beat that!"

Beans-You mean you haven't already?

So, she at once started to pull and tease at her already freakishly huge eyebrows.After an hour, they were 137 times bigger.

Kork-making them the size of Jupiter.

They were so heavy that they ripped all of the skin off of Dorothy's face and neck (and breasts and stomach and legs…)and Dorothy of course bled to death…DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD, THE WITCH IS DEAD, THE WITCH IS DEAD…Ok.As this was happening, Zechs was practicing dramatic mask removal in his room.

"No, this isn't right either…I got it!I could do it like a pair of glasses!"

Beans-Which would break your neck in two.

So he did, and in the process, dropped the heavy mask onto his foot.

Ich-Which of course killed him, since this author is desperate for ideas.

As he was stomping around aimlessly, he knocked over his collection of 

Beans-Used Burritos!

Kork-Pictures of Treize!

Ich-Tin cans for making masks!

Kork-Needlepoint supplies!

Ich-SqueezeCheese!

very sharp knives, swords, and daggers,

Beans-Which of course were in plain view and unstable.

and every single one of them fell on him, and, needless to say, killed him.After this,

Kork-Where, pray tell, does all of this take place?Are all of the Gundam people living together?

Trowa was sitting on his bed, trying to pull off his tight pants.

Beans-Oh great!No he's fantasizing about Trowa's tight pants!

Somehow, they had shrank during the day,

Ich-REAL good logic there.

and he could hardly get them to move.When he finally succeeded in getting the pants off with one huge tug,

Kork-Hentai?

Beans-Please stop bringing up hentai, you hentai!

he held them up like a trophy, only to discover his legs had been ripped off and were still snug in the pants.He then died of blood loss. An hour later (it's now 10:00 PM) Heero was researching some files on his laptop when he sneezed.His head flew forward and hit the screen, destroying it.

Ich-Of course, the laptop was bolted to the table…

"SH---!"

Heero didn't have time to finish, since

Beans-His cookies were done!

Kork-His date had arrived!

Ich-He spontaneously combusted!

the extremely frayed adapter cords hooked up to the wall had gotten drenched,

Beans-The room must've flooded while we weren't reading…

and when Heero's head hit, he was electrocuted.He was dead before his smoking body hit the floor.As this happened, the Braided Baka

Ich-Relena?

Kork-No, Steven Segal!

Beans-He has a ponytail, not a braid, you idiot!

was busy braiding his hair for a party he was going to go to with a bunch of the guys.

Kork-HENTAI WARN-MMMMPH!!!

(everyone else had stuffed socks in Kork's mouth)

When he got to the meeting point, he realized he was the only one there.

"Where is everyone?Hmmmm…I'll just walk to that bar across the street until they show up."

As he crossed the street, he was hit by a bus.

Beans-Plot twist!

After he came to, he was in Hell.

Ich-No Shit, Sherlock!

There, many

Beans-Jim Bakker clones!

Kork-MMMMMMMPPHHMMMPH MMPHMM!!! (Dorothy Clones!)

Ich-N*Sync clones!

Beans-You win. 

demon people welcomed them, and he was crowned the new Devil, since he was the God of Death.He also saw all of his friends that were dead.He let everyone be his assistants, except Dorothy and Relena, who he made clean his throne with pieces

Ich-Pieces of Eight!Pieces of Eight!

of rabbit fur.

Well, that's it.

All-WOOHOO!

I've always wanted to kill Dorothy and Relena.

Kork-Really now, THAT'S a new one.

R+R.Yaoi Sucks!


	2. Chibigundams

I don't own Gundam

Beans is at the tee…He's been in good form all day today at the Disclaimer Links Golf Tourney…The back- swing…A nice one there!The ball is flying over the I Don't Own It bunker…The Don't Sue Me water hazard…The You'll Get a Whole Lotta Records If You Do stretch of the rough…and it's a HOLE IN ONE!!!PERFECT DISCLAIMER!!!!GOLF CLAP!!!Once again, I'm MST-ing my fics…The dudes are once again Beans, Kork, and Ich.Happy Trails.

Beans-Whoopee.Another one.

I don't own Gundam.

Ich-Really?Tell us more, O great Know-It-All!

I wish I owned Deathscythe Hell, though, so I could scare my friends.

Kork-He's got friends?

Plus, this story revolves mostly around talking Gundams…they're probably chibi…I don't know.

Weird Story

One fine day in Gundamland,

Beans-…Gundamland…riiiiiiiiiiiiiigggghttt…

or wherever Gundam Wing happens, Wing was sitting in the grass smelling

Beans-Gas!

Kork-Weed!

Ich-His ass!

daisies, since he was bored

Kork-Must be reading this…

and thought it would be a free high.After a few minutes, D-Hell flew up to him.

"Hey, wanna have some fun?"He asked.

Kork-Hentai Alert!!!

"Not if it involves yaoi…that stuff makes me vomit"

"It doesn't.

Ich-Make you vomit?

I found this cool thing on the ground.

Beans-…Uh oh.Kork might be right.

I don't know what it is…" I don't either…I'm making this up as I go along.

All-OH MY GOD!!!HE IS!?!?!?

"Ok."

So, the two gundams flew off.After a few minutes, D-Hell landed.A chibi (yeah, I decided it's chibi) Heero was lying on the ground asleep.

"Whaddaya think it is?" asked D-Hell.

Kork- (Church Lady)I don't know, Hmmmm…maybe…could be…SATAN?!

"I dunno.Think it's alive?It's breathing, but it looks dead…no expression…think it'll squeak if I shoot it?"

"Probably.Hey, it's talking!"

Ich-What'll they think of NEXT?!

"mrmmmrr…Oh, Relena…mrmmr…

Kork-HE—

Beans-DON'T SAY IT!

breakfast in bed again…think you…can you get my teddy..?

Beans-He's cross-dressing now?

...It fell on the floor…mrmmrmrmr…"

"I know how to wake it up!"

Ich-This fic won't help.

cried D-Hell.He turned on his loudspeaker (I know Gundams don't have PA systems, but bear with me)

All-:Bear Sounds:

_"BEEN DAZED AND CONFUSED FOR SO LONG IT'S NOT TRUE…WANTED A WOMEN NEVER BARGAINED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Heero woke up (obviously)

Kork-Obviously.

and looked around.

"Oh my God, my gundam is moving…and Duo's…but he's over there…I must be still asleep…*pinch*…Ow…

.Guess not.I'm insane.

"Hehheh.Its funny.

Beans-I'm in hysterics.

I wonder if there are any other ones?"

Ich-Oh, I don't know…there can't be more than about 6 billion…not too many…

"I dunno.Let's look.Put that one in your hold.

Kork-Gundams have holds?

Wing proceeded to shove a mumbling Heero into a little compartment on his left arm.They went looking for the other thing the little thing…this is annoying…

Ich-The fic?

I'm just gonna refer to the pilots by name.They went looking for Duo. They found him a few seconds later.

"Hmmmmm…This one's sleeping too.I'll wake it up said D-Hell.

PURPLE HAZE…ALL IN MY BRAIN…MAN-Y THINGS…JUST DON'T SEEM THE SAME…

Duo woke up pretty quickly.

"ACTIN' FUNNY…hey, it stopped…woah, dude, D-Hell is moving…

All-(a la Bill & Ted)WOAH DUDE!!!!

GET OUT OF THERE HEERO!!! Oh, wait, Wing's over there…wow…I must've fixed him too much…"

"I wonder if he's talking about me?"Asked D-Hell.

Beans-No, he just yelled your name in your direction, he can't be talking to YOU…

He shook his metallic head."No, can't be; I've never been fixed…I think."

Ich-(a la Stuart (MAKIN' COPIES!)on SNL)No drugs for the D-Man!The D-Meister!Death-Bloody-Scythe-a-Lot-Hell-Guy!Sir Slash-A-Lot!Clean of Cracko!

Suddenly, a giant Ki blast came down and blasted them all to dust.

Kork-Of course this happens every day…

"I hate chibis.They're too happy looking," said Vegeta, with a content smile.

I know, it stunk,

All-YA THINK!?

but, hey, its my first one.Please review.

Beans-We could kind tell it was the first…


	3. Music

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam or any of the music or bands that I use in this fic

WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING DISCLAIMER!!!Actually, we do…I don't own Gundam…

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam or any of the music or bands that I use in this fic.

Beans-YOU DON'T?!OH MY GOD!I THOUGHT YOU OWNED THEM!WOW!I'VE BEEN WRONG ALL MY LIFE!

By the way, there are no tabs in this story every time someone else talks because I'm lazy.

Kork-With the what now?

Music

Duo was lying on his bed, not thinking about Heero,

Ich-What, was he thinking about Trowa?

because yaoi sucks.He was listening to Kashmir and eating a Taco Bell burrito.He jumped up and ran to the can.

Kork-He lives with CoB?

"I will NEVER eat Taco Bell AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ich-I made that vow a long time ago…

Beans-Why?

Ich-Their Fire sauce gave me a case of malaria…

He yelled, because he was going to be there for a while.When he was done, he decided to pay Heero a visit,

Kork-HENTAI!!!

Other two kick him since they're tired of hearing this…

so he jumped in his Pinto (snicker)

Ich-His car is made of Snickers Bars?

and drove over to Quatre's mansion, since Heero had been staying there because he burned his apartment down trying to fix a microwave.

All-BURNIN DOWN THE HOUSE!!! (a la Talking Heads)

Duo was blasting music all the way there.

"AH GOD WHEN YA WALK THAT WAY WATCH YOUR HONEY DRIP CAN'T KEEP A WAY…" Duo was singing along with Robert Plant all the way there also.Many people were annoyed.He didn't care.When he got to the mansion, Heero ran out,

Kork-Aww, how sweet!

annoyed."Turn that (expletives deleted) off!!Don't you know that music like that rots your mind?!""Why, what music do you like?"

Beans-Manilow!

Kork-Pure Moods!

Ich-Blues!

Beans-McCloud!

"Goth Rock…It speaks the truth, and-" "Oh, come on…that stuff's just a bunch of German dudes screaming into a mike…and they have less instrument talent than the Sex Pistols!!"

Beans-Ouch!

Ich-SEX PISTOLS!ROCK ON!!

Kork-that's about right…

Heero was pretty mad at the moment, since Duo was badmouthing his tunes."Omae o korosu, Duo…"And he pulled out a gun from his spandex…I wonder how he can fit a gun in there?

All-O.o

Ah well…anyway, Duo started running while Heero shot a few rounds at him.He missed, but he did manage to hit Duo's Pinto."HEY!!! I ONLY HAD ONE MORE PAYMENT ON THAT!!!"

All-……BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Duo lost Heero, and after a while, he cooled down.They both retreated into the Winner mansion, where the other pilots were staying.Duo and Heero plopped down on the couch.They were separated by Wufei."INJUSTICE!!! YOU BOTH SMELL LIKE WILD PIGS!""Wufei, you smell like a pile of cow pies."

Beans-Why is everyone sniffing each other?

"INJUSTICE!!!I KNOW! NONE OF US TAKE BATHS!EXCEPT WEAK ONNA QUATRE!"Hey!That's not nice…hi Duo.""Hey.Me and Heero were just having a discussion over music.I like classic rock, while he likes elephant crap.""Goth is not elephant crap!It's the singers and musicians letting go of their aggression!It's taught me much…""Heero, you have no idea what you're talking about!Since when is Rammstien that deep?""Well, I think it is."They all kicked Heero in the shins

All-O_o

…after they took his large assortment of weapons from his pocket.

All-OOHHHHH…

"Now, who is right?"Quatre shifted uncomfortably."Well, I don't really like either…I'm more into the new alternative stuff…"

Ich-That has got to be the most OOC thing Quatre's ever said!

Duo busted out laughing, because he thought Quatre was kidding."No, really!I love Limp…and Korn, and Papa Roach…""Quatre, you've gone insane.You are not the type of person who would like that crap.""Hey! Don't badmouth my music, Homie G Funk!

Beans-…Ok…

Kork-Dogg!

Ich-Yo Boy!

Beans-McCloud!

Kork-Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da!

Ich-…ok…

"……Quatre…don't ever say that again…What about you, Trowa?"………..techno……….no words………..""I shoulda known.You don't like words.Eh.Wufei?What about you?""WEAK ONNAS!!!INJUSTICE!!! MANY OTHER EXPLETIVES!!!YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE GREATEST SINGER AND HIS GENRE!!!

Beans-McCloud!

BARRY MANILOW RULES OVER ALL!!!""Wufei…did you just say you of all people like soft rock?Well, this is weird…Well, since none of you like my music, I shall kill you all…by annoying you with my music.""NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(deep breath)

All-GAAAAAASSSSSSPP!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTHING CAN BE WORSE!!!" they all yelled except Duo.

"Ok, maybe not.Even I'm not that cruel

Kork-Of course you are!You won't let us exhale!

…well, maybe I am.

MANIC DEPRESSION IS SEARCHIN MY SOUL!I KNOW WHAT I WANT BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TA…GO BOUT…GITTIN IT…By the way, if you know what song that is and who did it, you have good taste.As the song wore on, the 4 other pilots were getting more and more annoyed.All of them had a very loud stereo that they pulled from Hammerspace, and were trading blows.

KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN CMON!KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN…

Beans-Ugh.

(LOUD DRUM AND SYNTH BEATS)

(UNINTELLIGABLE GOTH LYRICS)

OH MANDY…YOU CAME AND YOU BROUGHT ME A TURKEY, BUT PUNCHED OUT YOUR FACE OH MANDY…

Kork-What!?

I know those aren't the real words, but I don't know them.This went on for quite some time.A few hours later, the batteries on all stereos except Duo's (much to the dismay of the others)

All-NOT TO US!

had run out.Duo was still happily singing all of the lyrics:

HE HEARS THE SILENCE HOWLIN…CATCHES ANGELS AS THEY FALL…AND THE ALL-TIME WINNER… HAS GOT HIM BY THE BALLS…

Kork-YAOI ALERT!

Beans-You idiot!That's Jethro Tull!

HEY FELLAS HAVE YA HEARD THE NEWS YA KNO THAT ANNIE'S BAK IN TOWN!!!IT WON'T TAKE LONG JUST WATCH AND SEE ALL THE BROTHERS LAY THEIR MONEY DOWN…

Hmm…is that enough?No.

Kork-Whoopee.

I SEE A RED DOOR AND I WANT TO PAINT IT BLACK…NO COLORS AN-Y-MORE, I WANT THEM TO TURN BLACK…I SEE THE GIRLS WALK BY DRESSED IN THEIR SUMMER CLOTHES…I HAVE TO TURN MY HEAD UNTIL MY DARKNESS GOES…

Ok that's enough.After a few more songs (Misty Mountain Hop, Foxey Lady, Iron Man, and Dazed and Confused),

Ich-What, no Blue Oyster Cult?!

it started to get to the others."No…more Zeppelin…" moaned Heero."I can't take much more…noise…!"Groaned Wufei."………………………………………………….."…Uh…Silenced

Beans-He's got a gun?

Trowa."I don't know, I kinda like this stuff!"Said Quatre.Everyone except Duo gave Quatre the Patented Heero Death GlareTM "What?What?"

Kork-Right, What?That doesn't make much sense…

"Ok, since, obviously, my tunes can outlast all of yours, mine must be the best." Said Duo.As he said this, his stereo died."No, your "tunes" killed your stereo."

Ich-Happiness is a warm gun!

Beans-(stereo impression) BZZBBBZBZZTTBZTTBZBT!

Said Heero.After that, they all went out for dipped ice cream at a local Dairy Queen.

Hey, I wanted to end it

Kork-Yay!

…I'm really lazy.N E way, R+R.By the way, in case anyone is wondering, I side with Duo…ZEPPELIN FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beans-Really, I couldn't tell…

When The Levee Breaks  
(Bonham/Jones/Page/Plant/Memphis Minnie)   
  
If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break, (X2)   
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay.   
  
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan, (X2)   
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,   
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.   
  
Don't it make you feel bad   
When you're tryin' to find your way home,   
You don't know which way to go?   
If you're goin' down South   
They go no work to do,   
If you don't know about Chicago.   
  
Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,   
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,   
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.   
  
All last night sat on the levee and moaned, (X2)   
Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home.   
Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago... Sorry but I can't take you...   
Going down... going down now... going down.... 


	4. Yeow! My Butt!!!

yeowmst

I'm not in the mood for a disclaimer…'sides, you should know it by now. This is, once again, an MST of my own fic, Yeow! My Butt!!!, and once again, it's Beans, Kork, and Ich.

Kork- Why must we always do these?

Beans-Because we're the only ones here.

Disclaimer: I don't own GW

Ich-Surprise Surprise.

...or maybe I do. I may be the creator of the Gundam series posing as Can of Beans,

Kork-He's getting Cocky.

but probably not. BTW, Yaoi sucks, as you will find out later.

YEOW! MY BUTT!!!

One day, the five G-boys were flipping thru 

Beans-Playboy!

Kork-Play GIRL!

Ich-Letter Opener Monthly!

the fanfics on this site, when they came across a Yaoi fic. Since I'm an author and have mystical powers, none of them know what this is.

Beans-This as in this crappy fic?

Duo: Hey, Heero, what's yaoi?

Heero: I dunno. Check it out.

Duo does. Everyone was reading it at once 

Ich-Of course, everyone shows up when Duo calls Heero's name.

since they were using Quatre's desktop with an 80" screen. They get to the lemon part, and stop reading pretty quickly.

D: Oh My GOD!!!!!! What are they doing to my beautiful butt?!

Quatre: Do you really want me to explain it?

Kork-(a la old guy)Well, little Billy, There are these birds, and then there are bees that always try to get them to do ungodly things…

D: Oh God no.

Q: Good. I'm gonna go hurl now.

H: Since when is L'il Heero that small?

Beans-L'il Heero?

D: Like it's bigger than the 5 inches in the story?

H: Omae o Korosu.

D: Hey hey, kidding. Now, what kind of sick mind would think I, the God of Female Seduction, 

Kork-That just doesn't flow as well as God of Death…

am GAY!?

Wufei: What, you're not? Oh crap...better return the Manilow collection I got for you're birthday...

D: Sigh. Now then, how many of these are there on this site?

H: About 100.

Ich-On this site? They've gotta be kidding.

Beans-Yeah, more like 10000000.

D: MY GOD! Where did people get the idea that we're GAY!?

H: I dunno, but it ticks me off.

D: Geez, they have me paired with everyone! Quatre, Trowa...Wufei...shudder...even you, Heero!

H: I will kill them.

D: Wait, I'm not done. Dorothy, Hilde, Relena...

Kork-…Isn't this a yaoi fic were looking at?

H: Now I will kill them...

D: Where did people get the idea that I like having things shoved up my BUTT?!?!

Q: I'm gonna hurl again...ugh!

T: This is not right.

W: Injustice!!! I will have nothing to do with anything that brings me to the level of weak onnas!

D: This is sick! This stuff makes me wanna hurl like Quatre! I can't stand it. I'm looking for another fic. Hmmmm...Yuri...I wonder if it's the same as Yaoi?

Beans-Other than they're completely different words, nah.

Duo kliked on the link. They began reading...

D: What? Relena and Hilde?! WOOHOO!!!!

Ich-It's a saaaad day when Hilde sinks to that level…

T: Yay.

Q: Now this is entertainment.

W: Weak...onnas...must not...read...aw heck. WOOHOO!

H: I'm going to kill Relena

All-Really?

...unless this never happened.

Kork-Even if it did, he wouldn't do it.

I know, it wasn't that good, 

All-SO DO WE!!!!

but I don't care. R+R. BTW, to all you Yaoi fans who are now insulted: Why oh Why did you read this? It was right in the summary: YAOI BASHING!!!!! Idjits.

Beans-to everyone else who read this who are now bored, it was right in the title: Can Of Beans!! Idjits.


	5. Unexpected Solitude

Disclaimer-this is the first fic ive MSTd that wasn't mine…but I don't own anything in it…same old peoples…

Disclaimer-this is the first fic ive MSTd that wasn't mine…but I don't own anything in it…same old peoples…

Yaya! I finally have chapter 1!!! I'm so excited!!!

All-WE ARENT!

  
Oh, special thanks to FuuMegami, VacaLady, adb, Miss Moon, ChibiKujaChan, Can of Beans, Anime Princess, Serenity6456, alexz, braves66boy, JLSCORPIO79, Galexz, Eternalmoonprincess, and Peace Angel for reviewing! Wow, 13 reviews for just that short prologue!   
Anyways, on to the fic!   
~Tsunami-chan

Beans-They all suck…specially CoB.  
  
~*~*~*~*~

Kork-What, no disclaimer? Quick, tell Toriama

  
Gohan was out in a field training by himself {an: as usual ^.^} when suddenly he felt an incredibly powerful ki.

Ich-Run, it's the IRS!

Kork-That wasn't funny

Ich-I know.

  
"What the...?"  
'Man, whoever this is— and I hope he's not an enemy— is incredibly powerful! He's a lot stronger than even my dad!' he thought as he flew 

Beans-So, of course, I'll fly toward it and die.

quickly towards the strong ki.  
When he looked down, he saw what he least expected

Kork-a hotdog?

Ich-No, a frog.

Beans-CoB!

— a beautiful blonde girl of about 17 lying asleep on the ground.  
'Kami, this girl is beautiful!' he thought to himself, even though she was covered with dirt and dried blood. 

Beans-A vision of beauty…muddy and bloody…

But then it sank in.

Kork-He had left the oven on.

  
"Oh, shit! This girl is hurt, and all I can do is stand here and gawk?!" Gohan mentally slapped himself.

Ich-BaD BRAIN! NO BISKIT!!! 

  
He flew over to her side when he saw her waking up.  
"Ah, miss, can I help you?"  
She looked dazedly up at Gohan.  
"I'm… I'm Usagi… I'm… I'm… tired..."

Beans-Usagi Tired? Strange name.

was all she could manage before she collapsed.  
'Yes, and I'm 

Kork-Pork Boy, the Breakfast Monkey!

Son Gohan," he mumbled to the unconscious Usagi. "Pleasure to meet you, tenshi."   
He picked her up gingerly and flew her quickly to his home.  
  
Usagi woke up in a strange room.   
"Where am I?" She sat up in the bed to get a better look around the room. But right when she did, she felt an intense pain in her arm.  
"Kuso, that hurts!" She looked down to see her arm bandaged up and in a makeshift sling.  
Then she also noticed two fingers on her left hand were splinted and wrapped up. So was her ankle.  
"Damn, must've had a rough landing. 

Ich-Ya think.

I wonder who brought me here?" Usagi thought out loud.  
"I did." Gohan had just walked in the door when Usagi was thinking aloud.

Beans-What was he doing, spying on her?

Kork-Hentai Alert!!!

  
"Huh?" She whipped her head around to see Gohan leaning against the doorway.  
"Hi. I'm Son Gohan, 

Ich-And I lost 50 pounds on the Slim Fast diet!

and I found you out in a field near where I was training. You looked pretty banged up, so I brought you back here, to my home."   
"How long have I been out?" Usagi suddenly asked.  
"Three days."  
"What?! Three DAYS?" Usagi exclaimed.  
"Calm down, it's not that bad. Well, you're awake now, I guess you're pretty hungry, ne?"

Beans-No, 3 days isnt that long to go without food.

asked Gohan, remembering about breakfast.  
"Food?" Usagi's stomach rumbled at the mention of food. She laughed slightly. "Yeah, I guess I am! What's for breakfast?"   
Gohan just lauged.  
Breakfast consisted of bacon, eggs, and all the pancakes you could eat. Once Gohan was done making the food, they both sat down to eat.

Kork-Protein.

Beans-You have a really sick mind.

  
"So," Gohan asked, watching Usagi eat, "If you don't mind me asking, where did you come from?"  
Usagi dropped her fork. "I... I..." Her eyes began to water  
"Usagi, are you okay?"  
"Oh, sorry, Gohan," she said, wiping at her watery eyes, "there was just something in my eye."  
But Gohan knew this was a lie. 

Ich-Since he could see the thought bubble above her head said lie.

Beans-That was dumb.

"Are you sure you're okay?"  
"Yes.… no, I'm not." Usagi broke down, sobbing into Gohan's shoulder.  
Gohan put his arm around Usagi, comforting her. "Ssh, it'll be okay."   
Usagi just kept crying. After a while,

Ich-Hour.

though, her sobs quieted down into soft sniffles.  
"You want to talk about it?" Gohan   
Usagi nodded slightly, tears still tricking down her cheeks. "I actually came from another dimension, 

Beans-Sounds like a FUNi edit.

although still from Earth...." She went on to explain her story, actually the whole story, even back to the Moon Kingdom.  
"....And here I am now." Usagi finished.  
'Wow,' Gohan thought, 

Kork-(Gohan) She's beautiful AND insane!

'Usagi's had a rough life. I suppose I should tell her my story.'  
And that's what he did. Usagi listened intently to the whole thing.   
"So I guess we've both had it rough, ne?" Usagi smiled a little.  
'Kami, is she beautiful, especially when she smiles!' "Yeah, I guess so. So what are you going to do now, Usagi, and where are you going to stay?"  
"I don't know. I haven't really thought about that." Usagi replied.

Ich-Yes, I was busy concentrating on my broken limbs.

  
"Well, you could stay here with me. Although you won't really have many girl friends, though, because I live way out here." 

Kork-More for me!

Ich-You need serious help.

  
"Really? I could? Oh, that'd be no problem, I guess." 'As long as I get to stay near you, Gohan-kun,' 

Kork-Did she just say-

Beans-KUN!!!NO T!!!Jeez, you have a sick mind!!!

Usagi added in her head.  
"I guess I should show you around, then, ne?"   
"Okay!" Usagi jumped up.  
  
"So this is my room, now, right?" Usagi stepped into a guest bedroom. It was medium-sized, and had three windows.  
"Yeah. This room has the best view." {an: Aaw!!! that' is SOO kawaii!!! ^.~}

Beans-Yes, you can see the flesh eating dinosaurs.

  
Usagi walked over to the bed and plopped down onto it. She picked up a stuffed dragon toy and looked at it.  
"How kawaii!" Usagi squealed. "Where did you get this?"  
Gohan looked over and smiled. It was his dragon toy from when he was a boy. It was made to resemble Icarus. "It was a gift from a friend, You can have it, if you want."

Ich-I used to use it as a toilet.

  
"Oh, Gohan-chan, are you sure? I mean—"  
"Yes, you can keep it. It's a gift, from me to you." Gohan smiled.   
Usagi got up and hugged a rather surprised Gohan. "Oh than you, Gohan-chan!"  
She placed the toy back on her bed, when she noticed a framed picture on the nightstand.  
"Who is this, Gohan-chan?" she asked, picking up the picture to examine it more closely.

Kork-My drunk Uncle Jimbo.

Ich-Mike Dukakis.

Beans-McCloud!

  
"That's my family, my mother 

Beans The Duchess of York,

Chi-chi, my younger brother 

Kork-Brian Austin Green,

Goten," Gohan said, pointing each one out, "Me, and that is 

Ich-Bob,

Goku, my father. He was the strongest man in the Universe."  
"Wow, really? 

Beans-(Usagi)I always thought it was Mr. Clean.

That's cool! So he was a fighter?"  
"My whole family was. I've been trained since I was just a little kid."  
Usagi placed the picture back onto the nightstand.   
As they were walking back to the living room, Usagi asked, out of nowhere, "Would you train me?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Please, more reviews! I can't get enough! *laughs* ^_~

Kork-They're a drug to me…

  
ja ne, ~Tsunami-chan

Ich…Well…that was dumb…

Beans-Hey, be nice…I know this one.

Kork-All the more reason to flame her!Hahahaha!!!

R+R


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